Step into who you truly are and live life authentically.

My people-pleasing story...

I have spent most of my younger years trying to please others so I can feel love and accepted. I became a master at assessing and analyzing other people’s behaviors and non-verbal cues so I could "read their minds."

"Is it safe to play and be loud, or should I keep quiet right now?"
"What should I say to my friend to be included or liked?"
"Should I laugh, be outraged, just nod?"

I took responsibility for people's moods around me because I felt it was much safer when everyone was happy. If someone was sad or upset, I wanted to fix it, so I learned to be an excellent solution finder and quite an entertainer.

With different people having different expectations for me, I also became a master of disguise, a chameleon.

In my quest for approval and belonging, I started to realize that it was just not possible to constantly please others, and even when I did, it was not long-lasting. Plus, it was so much work to keep up with all my masks, and when failing to please, I fell into despair.

I preferred being on my own because it was so much quieter inside: I could just BE. I pushed people away as much as I could, reinforcing my belief that I was unlikable and alone. So I coped with filling myself up with food and disconnecting from life with TV.

One day, I had enough. I remember it vividly. I was crying in my dorm room. If this was life, I wanted none of it. I was bitter and frustrated. I felt that no one cared about my wants and needs, and I felt shame for having them in the first place. I hated myself because by constantly trying to please others, I was not pleasing myself. In that dark abyss, I made a choice: I am going to learn to please ME.

The problem was, I did not know what I wanted or even who I really was! I had spent so much time focused on pleasing others and pretending to be someone I wasn't. So I had questions:

"How can I be OK with disappointing others?"
"Where is the line between pleasing ME and caring about others?" 
"How do I establish boundaries and which ones are okay?"

I consulted psychologists, became a coach, and soaked up every learning I could. Along the way, as a bonus, I overcame my generalized anxiety disorder and ADHD.

After years of self-mastery, I can report: I am FREE. The tendencies to please might come up here and there, but they don’t take over because I catch them in the act. After isolating myself from others for years, I am now discovering the joy of connections and belonging.

When I learned it was okay to have wants and needs, and how to balance it all with those of others to create win-wins, I found my voice. This lifelong learning is worth it my friends!

It is now my life’s purpose to bring this empowerment, joy, inner peace and a sense of belonging to as many woman as I can! Join me in spreading the word and let's rise together!

Every woman deserves to feel the joy of being their true selves, and connect and live authentically!