Why Prioritizing Yourself Isn’t Selfish—It’s Essential

In the Women’s Circle I lead twice a month, the topic of boundaries often sparks deep and vulnerable conversations. A common question arises: Is it OK to value myself more than others?

For many women, the idea of prioritizing their own needs feels selfish, stirring up guilt and shame. But here’s the truth: valuing yourself doesn’t mean devaluing others. It’s about recognizing your worth and honoring it—just as much as you honor those you care about.

Where Does This Belief Come From?

Why do so many of us feel guilty about putting ourselves first? Everyone’s story is different, but most roads lead back to childhood.

• Were you praised for being selfless or sacrificing your wants for others?
• Did you grow up in an environment where your needs came second—or not at all?
• Or perhaps, prioritizing others became an act of survival, a way to avoid conflict or seek love and approval?

Somewhere along the way, we learned to equate self-sacrifice with love, safety, and worthiness.

Does This Belief Still Make Sense?

Now that we’re adults, it’s worth stepping back and questioning these old beliefs:

• Do you truly need to put others first to be loved, safe, or valued?
• Is it really wrong to value yourself as much—or more—than others?
• Would you teach your child to devalue their needs to make others happy?

When we challenge these thoughts, we often find they no longer serve us.

The Problem With Thinking It’s Wrong to Value Yourself

It’s not about choosing between valuing yourself or others. The real issue is the belief that you don’t deserve to value yourself at all.

But here’s the truth:

• You don’t need anyone’s approval to be worthy.
• Your needs matter simply because you exist.
• Self-value isn’t something you earn; it’s something you claim.

Would you tell a child they need to prove they’re worthy of care and love? Of course not! Yet, many of us carry that expectation for ourselves.

The Truth About Valuing Yourself

You are just as valuable as anyone else. It’s not a competition, and it’s not black and white. You can value yourself and others at the same time.

In fact, valuing yourself makes you more available to others. When you prioritize your needs, you’re not pouring from an empty cup—you’re giving from a place of abundance.

Practical Steps to Start Valuing Yourself Today

1. Check Your Beliefs: Ask yourself, “Why do I feel guilty about prioritizing myself?” Journal or reflect on whether those beliefs are true or helpful.
2. Reframe Self-Care: Instead of seeing it as selfish, view it as a way to show up fully for the people and things you care about.
3. Take One Small Step: Practice saying no to something small or taking 15 minutes just for you. Notice how it feels to prioritize your needs.
4. Join a Supportive Community: Surround yourself with others who are on a similar journey of self-discovery and empowerment.

 ✨✨ Join My Free Women’s Circle: Ready to dive deeper into valuing yourself and setting healthy boundaries? Join my free Women’s Circle—a safe space to connect, grow, and share your journey with like-minded women. Together, we explore self-worth, boundaries, and reclaiming our power.

Click here to join—it’s free!

Embracing your Worth and Power

Valuing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. It allows you to show up fully, love deeply, and create meaningful connections without losing yourself in the process.

If this resonates with you, take the first step today. Reflect on one way you can honor your needs and take action. And if you’re ready to go further, my course, "3 Things to Stop if you are a People-Pleaser!", offers practical tools to help you reclaim your worth, set empowering boundaries, and live in alignment with your truth.

Explore the course here and start your journey!

By valuing yourself, you create the freedom to thrive—not just for you, but for those around you. The journey starts with one step, and I’m here to walk with you every step of the way 🌟