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Why Can’t I Switch Off? When Being the Good Girl Keeps You on Duty (with Samantha Grider)

Season #5

Why is it so hard to switch off when nobody is actually asking anything of you?

For Samantha Grider, being “the good girl” started as a way of navigating childhood. Take up less space. Be easy. Be mature for your age. Pay attention to what everyone else needs.

Eventually, that way of moving through the world became automatic.

In this conversation, Samantha and I explore what happened when she began questioning the life she thought she was supposed to live and learning to listen to herself again.

We talk about the difference between being alone and actually knowing yourself, why rest can feel like something that needs to be earned, and what Samantha calls inner mothering: creating enough safety within yourself to experiment, notice what you actually like and want, and try again.

We also explore:

  • How childhood interpretations can quietly become adult patterns

  • Constantly scanning other people instead of noticing yourself

  • The “mature for your age” identity and what can sit underneath it

  • What happens when you stop trusting your own signals

  • Inner mothering as a practice of self-relationship

  • Creating a gap between reaction and response

  • Using somatics, hypnosis, and NLP in real life, not just during dedicated practices

  • Noticing what is happening in your body as data rather than immediately turning it into a story

  • Moving from “I need to” toward greater choice

  • Why simple practices are not necessarily easy practices

This is a conversation about learning to come off duty, turn some of that attention back toward yourself, and create a life you are actually choosing while you are living it.

Connect with Samatha:

✨ Free off socials community https://11a5-hello.systeme.io/c3d8d50a 

Connect with Nedjma:

✨ If you’d like to continue exploring relationships, emotional and self-mastery, liberation, self-expression, and what it means to live a more Aligned & Turned On life, join me on Substack at withkindawareness.substack.com.

Stock Music provided by Claudinewest, from Pond5.