My Library

Are You Trying So Hard to Do It Right That You’re Losing Yourself?

Season #5

Are you trying so hard to be a good parent, partner, professional, helper, or human that somewhere along the way, you’ve lost yourself inside the role?

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Melissa Franzen, counselor, educator, international speaker, and creator of the Abound Framework, to explore what she calls durable presence: the capacity to show up regulated, connected, intentional, and still authentically yourself.

Melissa shares the personal journey behind her work, from pursuing a dream she had carried since seventh grade, through marriage, divorce, single parenting a child with complex needs, earning her PhD, and eventually realizing that constantly fighting to meet every expectation was leaving her exhausted.

Our conversation moves into something I see all the time in my own work: how easily we can become the “good one,” trying to check every box and live up to what we believe a parent, professional, partner, or person is supposed to be.

And what happens when we turn the lens back toward ourselves?

We explore:

  • Why trying to meet everyone else’s expectations can disconnect you from yourself

  • The relationship between nervous system regulation and how you show up with other people

  • Why your own state can change the dynamic of an interaction

  • The difference between being regulated and performing regulation

  • What it means to know yourself before trying to find the “right” answer

  • How awareness can become another weapon against yourself if it isn’t held with kindness

  • Why curiosity may be one of the most powerful places to begin

This is a conversation about regulation, relationships, faith, self-awareness, and learning to show up for the roles that matter without disappearing inside them.

Connect with Melissa:

✨ Growth Abounds PLLC Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/share/19q2C5SRet/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Connect with Nedjma:

✨ If you’d like to continue exploring relationships, emotional and self-mastery, liberation, and what it means to live a more Aligned & Turned On life, join me on Substack at www.withkindawareness.substack.com 

Stock Music provided by Claudinewest, from Pond5.